Choose the right topics 2

The Prophet e would take this into consideration, and

hence, the nature of his speech with young men would be different

to that with the elderly, or with women and children.

Jabir bin ‘Abdullah was a great Companion. His father was

killed at Uhud, and he had left behind Jabir’s nine sisters with no

one to take care of them. He had also left behind a huge debt

to be paid off, all on the shoulders of this youth who was still

very young. Because of this, Jabir was always anxious and thinking

about his sisters and his debt, as the creditors were demanding

payment day and night.

Jabir journeyed with the Prophet e on the Dhat ar-Riqa’ expedition.

Due to his extreme poverty, he was riding a very weak

camel that could hardly walk. Jabir did not have enough money

to buy another camel. As a result, everyone preceded him and he

was the last in the caravan. The Prophet e was also at the end

of the army, so he met Jabir as his camel walked slowly along.The

Prophet e said, “What is wrong with you, O Jabir?”

He said, “This camel is slowing me down.”

The Prophet e said, “Kneel it down.” Jabir knelt it down, as

the Prophet e knelt his camel down, too.

The Prophet e then said, “Give me your whip, or break a

branch off a tree.” Jabir gave him his whip. The Prophet e took

the whip and struck the camel with it gently, and the camel got

up energetically. Jabir got hold of the camel and jumped on its

back and went alongside the Prophet e happily. The camel had

become very lively. The Prophet e turned to Jabir to converse

with him. What was the topic that the Prophet e chose to discuss

with him? Jabir was a young man, and young men are normally

concerned about marriage and their livelihood.

The Prophet e said, “O Jabir, did you get married?”

He said, “Yes, I did.”

The Prophet e said, “To a virgin or a previously married

woman?”

He said, “Previously married.”

The Prophet e was surprised at why a young man like him,

who had married for the first time, had done so to a previously

married woman. He said to Jabir in kindness, “Why didn’t you

marry a virgin so that you could fondle one other?”

Jabir said, “O Messenger of Allah, my father was martyred on

the day of Uhud and left nine (orphan) daughters who are my

nine sisters. I thus disliked to have another young girl of their

age, and instead married someone older than them so she could

be like their mother.”

The Prophet e realised that the man he was speaking to was

one who had sacrificed his own pleasures for his sisters. Thus,

the Prophet e decided to tell an appropriate joke for a youth

of his age: He e said, “Perhaps, when we head for Madinah and

stop over at Sarar (5 km from Madinah), your wife will hear of

our arrival and lay out the pillows.” Meaning, even if you married

someone previously married, she will always remain your bride.

She would rejoice upon your return, lay down the carpet and

arrange on it pillows.

Jabir thought of his poverty and that of his sisters. He said,

“Pillows?! By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, we do not have pillows!”

The Prophet e said, “InshaAllah, you will soon have pillows.”

As the two continued on, the Prophet e wished to gift some

money to Jabir, so he turned to him and said, “O Jabir!”

“At your service, O Messenger of Allah!” he replied.

The Prophet e said, “Will you sell me your camel?” Jabir

thought that the camel was his capital, and even though previously

extremely weak, it had now become very strong! However,

he thought it rude to reject the Prophet’s offer. Thus he said,

“Make an offer, O Messenger of Allah! How much will you pay?”

The Prophet e said, “A Dirham.”

“A Dirham! You are cheating me, O Messenger of Allah”, replied

Jabir.

The Prophet e said, “Two Dirhams.”

“No. You are still cheating me, O Messenger of Allah...” replied

Jabir.

They continued raising the price until it amounted to forty

Dirhams, or an ounce of gold.

Jabir said, “Fine, but on the condition that I continue to ride

it until we reach Madinah.”

“Yes,” agreed the Prophet e.

When they reached Madinah, Jabir went to his house and

offloaded the camel.Then he went to pray with the Prophet e

and tied his camel next to the mosque. When the Prophet e

came out of the mosque, Jabir said to him, “This is your camel,

O Messenger of Allah!” The Prophet e said, “O Bilal, give forty

Dihrams to Jabir and more.”

Bilal gave Jabir forty plus Dirhams. Jabir took the money in

his hand and went away thinking about his situation and what he

could do with the money. Should he buy a camel, or should he

buy furniture for his house?

The Prophet e suddenly turned to Bilal and said, “O Bilal,

take the camel and give it to Jabir.” Bilal took it and went to see

Jabir. When he arrived, Jabir was surprised and wondered if the

Prophet e had cancelled the sale.

Bilal said, “Take the camel, O Jabir.”

Jabir said, “Why? What’s the news?”

Bilal said, “Allah’s Messenger has ordered me to give you the

camel and the money.”

Jabir returned to the Prophet e and asked him what had

happened. The Prophet e replied, “Do you think I haggled with

you just to take your camel?” Meaning, I wasn’t asking you to

lower the price because I wanted to buy your camel. I only did

what I did to assist you with some money! How wonderful these

manners were! He chose the appropriate topic to discuss with

the young man, and when he decided to help him, he did so with

great kindness and compassion.

A point of view...

Talk about what others like to hear, not what you like to

relate.