Choose the right topics

Following on from the previous chapter, is the subject of the

way to talk to people and what to talk about. When someone

converses with another person, he should talk about subjects

that are suitable. The topic he may choose to discuss with a

youth would be quite different to that which he would choose

to discuss with the elderly. The type of conversation he has with

a scholar would not be the same as that with a layman. Similarly,

the words used with one’s wife would not be the same as those

used with his sister.

This is not to say that the topic must be completely different

for each person, such that a story one may relate to his sister

should never be related to his wife, or what is said to a young

can never be repeated to the elderly. Not at all. What is being

referred to here is the way in which the story is related differs.

By way of example, imagine if one were to sit with some

elderly guests, over eighty years old, who had come to visit one’s

grandfather, would it be appropriate for him to laugh and joke

while discussing what he did with his friends at the beach, and

relate how well his friend played football? No doubt this would

be inappropriate. Similarly, when speaking to small children, it

would not be suitable to relate various stories concerning how

husbands should treat their wives.

It is agreed upon, therefore, that from the ways of attracting

others, is to choose the topics they like to discuss. For instance,

if there is a father who has an intelligent son, it would be appropriate

to ask about him, as the father would most definitely

be proud of him and love to discuss the subject. Likewise, there

may be a person who has just opened up a shop and be making a

handsome profit, and thus it would be appropriate to ask about

his shop and customers as this is what would please him. He

would therefore love to sit and discuss this time and time again.