10 Jun 2013

Be kind at the first meeting


It was the habit in some rural areas of old Egypt that a groom
before his wedding night would hide a cat in his room. On the
wedding night, when alone with his wife, he would move a chair
slightly to so as to free the cat. He would then demonstrate his
might to his wife by getting hold of the poor cat and strangling it
to death! Why? So that the first impression of him imprinted in
the mind of his wife would be one of awe!

A group of officers once travelled  to attend a
training program on interpersonal skills in the work environment.
On the first day, they arrived early to the classroom and

began chatting in order to get to know one other. Suddenly, the
instructor walked in and they fell silent. The instructor’s eyes fell
upon a student who was still smiling.
“Why are you laughing?” He screamed.

The student replied: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t laughing.”
“You were!” screamed the instructor, and chastised him further,
saying, “You are not a serious student! You should return
to your family on the next available flight! I cannot teach your
likes!”
The poor student felt embarrassed and gazed at the instructor
and then at his colleagues in confusion. The instructor then
frowned at him, pointed to the exit and said, “Get out!”
The student got up frightened and left the room. The instructor
looked at the rest of the students and said, “I am Dr. So-andso.

I will be teaching you such-and-such a subject. But before I
begin, I would like you to fill in a questionnaire without writing
your names on them.” He then distributed the questionnaires
to the students. The questionnaire was about the instructor’s
performance and had five questions:

1. How do you find your teacher?
2. How do you find his teaching?
3. Does your teacher allow opposing views to be aired?
4. Would you like to be taught by him again?
5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution?

Every question had multiple choices; Excellent, good, fair,
poor. The students filled in the questionnaire and returned it to
the instructor. The instructor began his lecture on interpersonal
skills in an office environment, and in the middle of the lecture he
said, “Oh! Why should we deprive your colleague of this lesson?”
He went out of the classroom, shook the hand of the ejected
student with a smile, and brought him back in.

He then said, “I think I lashed out at you a little while ago
without any particular reason. I am having some personal problems
due to which I behave quite erratically at times, so I beg
your pardon. You are, after all, a committed student, and the
proof of that is the fact that you left behind your wife and children
to come all the way here. I would like to thank you, in fact
all of you, for your commitment. I am very honoured to be your
instructor.”

He was, thereafter, very light-hearted with his students.
He then picked up more copies of the questionnaire and
said, “Since your colleague didn’t get the chance to fill in the
questionnaire, how about if you all were to fill it in again?” He
handed out the questionnaire and they filled them all in and returned
them to the instructor. He then took the previous questionnaires
and the new ones and began to compare between the
two, to discover that the ‘poor’ boxes in first set of questionnaires
were all checked, while the second set of questionnaires
did not have a single check against ‘poor’, or even ‘fair’.

The instructor laughed and said, “What you just witnessed
was a demonstration of the ill effects of the lack of interpersonal
skills in the work environment. What I did to your colleague
was an example of this which I wished to demonstrate to you
all. Note how your views of me changed as I changed the way I
dealt with you!”

This is all part of human nature, and hence, one must take
this into consideration, especially with those he meets for the
first time.

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