Use the right flavor

There are things which people unanimously love and appreciate,

and things which they unanimously dislike. There are also

things upon which they differ, so while some may be appreciative

of them, others may find them cumbersome. Hence, everyone

loves to be smiled at and hates to be frowned at, yet some may

appreciate jokes whilst others may not. Some people may like

others visiting them whilst others would rather be left alone.

Some may love to talk excessively whilst others may not. Often

people feel comfortable with those of the same nature as themselves.

Why not then be pleasing to people of all natures?

It is said that a man once saw a falcon flying next to a crow.

He was amazed at the thought of the king of all birds flying next

to a crow! He concluded that they must have something in common

for them to fly together, he continued to watch them until

they became tired and decided to land, and lo and behold, they

were both crippled!

Hence, if someone knows that his father prefers silence to

excessive talk, then let him deal with his father accordingly in order

to gain his love. If a wife knows that her husband loves jokes,

then let her joke with him. If she discovers the opposite then

she should avoid joking with him. The same can be said about

a man dealing with his colleagues, neighbors and brothers. Do

not think for a moment that people are all of the same nature,

for they differ and come in many varieties.

if you realise the nature of the one you are conversing

with, what he likes and dislikes, you will be able to capture his

heart. Whoever looks at the way the Prophet e dealt with people

would realise that he would deal with everyone in accordance

with their personality. Even when he would deal with his

wives, he would do so on the basis of the personality of each.

‘A’ishah was very much of an extrovert and so the Prophet

e would often joke with her. Once she went with him on a

journey and on the way back, as they approached Madinah, the

Prophet e said to the people, “Continue on and leave us behind

for a while.” The people carried on, leaving them behind, and so

the Prophet e was left with ‘A’ishah. At the time, ‘A’ishah was a

young and energetic girl. The Prophet e turned to her and said,

“Come, let’s race!” She therefore raced him, and ‘A’ishah won.

After some time, she went out again with the Prophet e on

another journey. By now she had grown and put on weight. The

Prophet e said to the people, “Carry on...” and they did. He then

said to ‘A’ishah, “Come, let’s race!” They raced, and this time, the

Prophet e won. The Prophet e then started to joke about it as

he patted her on her back, saying, “That was for last time when

you defeated me! That was for last time when you defeated me!”

He would, however, deal very differently with Khadijah, as she

was fifteen years his senior.